There are words we can steer away from in our vocabulary as much as possible in order to raise the energetic vibration of our communication. In my experience, there is an energy associated with words. Certain words carry an quality that have a tendency to draw energy down and can be considered negative in nature as well as put others on the defense when we use those words during communication. It takes time to change a habit, so this shift will not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and in time you will see gradual changes in your communications as these words are slowly released from your vocabulary.
Before I list the words to release, I’ll first talk briefly about how change takes place. There is a natural process of change and various stages we go through for the change to occur. Once you are consciously aware of something and actively working to change it, it will take time to completely disappear and will diminish over time. To remove words from our vocabulary, it takes commitment to the process of change. We start with this commitment by paying careful attention to our thoughts in order to identify the words we are currently using. It’s helpful to begin with a specific word and practice the process of identification and release for a 21-day period. Once you have reached the end of the 21 days and actively participated in the change process, the use of the word will be greatly reduced. It’s important to remain aware of your thoughts during the process as well as offer yourself some flexibility to release it slowly.
Here is a list of the common words we use that are beneficial to release from our vocabulary.
1. Always - always indicates black & white thinking. When we use the word always we are saying there has never been an exception and it happens 100% of the time. Example: “He is always angry with me”. I would venture to guess this isn’t the case and there are times when this isn’t true.
2. Never - goes along the same lines as always. Example: “I never win”. Again, I’d venture to guess there has been at least 1 time the person has won.
3. But - this word generally negates the part of the sentence prior to the but. Example: “I want to lose weight, but it is going to be hard”. The mind tends to steer itself to the 2nd part of the sentence.
4. Can’t - this implies an inability to do something. Example: “I can’t let that betrayal go”. The truth is we usually have a choice. You can let the betrayal go. It may take commitment and work on the practice of forgiveness, but it can be done if you choose to do so.
5. Try - this usually indicates a lack of commitment or desire. “I’ll try to make it on Saturday”. This generally means the person won’t be there or doesn’t want to because something else may take priority. Change this one to I will or I will not and if it is a case where you are prefer to do something else first, put it out there as I will based on those circumstances as that indicates a clear choice you are making.
6. Maybe - this is very similar to try. Maybe indicates doubt or uncertainty. Again, use I will or I will not dependent upon circumstances.
7. Should - this can be a strong word on self and others. “I should have done it this way” or “you should have said no”. The thing about should is it implies that a person knew what would happen before a choice was made. Most times in life, we make choices based on the best information at the time and only after the event do we uncover a more effective way of doing something or handling a situation. Give yourself some leeway on this one.
8. Need - I believe needs are more about necessities versus desires. Example: “I need to go to the store today”. The question becomes is this a necessity, do I have to do this or there will be serious consequences that will cause survival issues if I don’t do it? Sometimes, the word need pressures us to get something done. I question if the pressure of the word need is necessary? I believe that in order to own our personal power fully, we are best when decisions are made based on choice and we leave the word “need” to the true circumstances of survival.
I have found these words most powerful in our vocabulary and worthy to start releasing. When we utilize our minds fully to release these words, it is an act of personal power and an act of making more consciously clear choices. Some of the words being released will help build confidence and help relationships function more effectively and improve communication because of the subconscious meanings that lie just under the surface.